Leadership at Home
Thanks for all the emails and messages that you’ve sent me after my recent post about my new son.
I personally read each one and do my best to reply to every one of you.
The latest chapter in my life, having two kids, is off to a great start.
There’s not much sleep, but it’s been fun.
Kelly is spending the most time with our newborn since she feeds him and sleeps when baby sleeps.
Kelly is an awesome mom.
Not only does she breastfeed, she really took care of herself during both pregnancies.
Many of you asked me how Kelly can look so good after delivering two kids. It’s simple.
It’s the same formula for everyone.
If you want to look good, you take care of yourself by watching what you eat and exercising consistently.
Throughout the entire pregnancy Kelly stuck to a strict diet, and also exercised constantly. She would hit the gym a few times a week and use the elliptical machine and free weights.
Of course, taking high quality supplements also helps. 🙂
Anyway, I’m blessed and lucky to have such a great wife and mother for my kids.
Getting Attached to Ethan
Kelly spends most of the time with “Didi” (弟弟), and I spend most of the time with Ethan.
By the way, I still have to pause to think about my second child’s name because we never call him by his name at home. Based on Chinese culture and tradition, we just call him “Didi” (弟弟) for younger brother.
So there is Ethan and “Didi” (弟弟).
I’m getting very attached to Ethan.
From the time Ethan wakes up in the morning, which is almost any second now, I spend most of the time with him because Kelly is always busy with the baby. We have our morning routine of going to the bathroom and then breakfast… and then taking him to potty, which can sometimes be a half hour battle, brushing his teeth, and then taking him to school. Once he goes to school, I take my 90-minute nap.
Once I pick him up from school, then it’s time to shower, eat dinner, read, and play together. Before you know it, it is time for bed!
Lately, on weekends, I started to nap with Ethan in his room. It’s been fun, and I really enjoy the father/ son bonding.
Parenting is the Hardest Job
Parenting has started to get tougher and tougher though. Ethan is at that age where he is starting to test his limits, the Terrible Twos, and he is also reacting to his new brother. He likes “Didi” (弟弟), but I think he’s also constantly doing things to get attention.
One example is his potty training. He was really good with it, and then once “Didi” (弟弟) was born, he stopped going to the toilet at school. He refused to go. He would just hold it in until he couldn’t hold it any longer, and then pee in his pants and everywhere. Hopefully this will end soon because we’re doing TONS of laundry every day!
Investing in Parenting Self-Development
Someone said that parenting is the toughest job, and I agree.
Let me add an asterisk though.
Parenting is the toughest job, if you want to be a GOOD parent.
If you just want to have kids, but don’t invest the time to raise them properly, then parenting isn’t that hard.
To me, that is laziness, and you might as well not have kids.
If you are going to have kids, then go invest tons of resources and time to do it the right way.
Otherwise, not only are you hurting a human being, but you are hurting mankind. We have enough lunatics running around in this world already.
One thing that mystifies me is the number of parents who don’t invest any time to study HOW to be a good parent. They simply raise their kids the way they were raised.
The ironic thing is that most of these people aren’t happy with where they are in life, either financially or in their relationships. Yet, they fail to invest the time to get better.
The same attitude that got them to where they are in life comes to haunt them as parents, and it also harms their kids.
If you don’t study about how to be a good parent and you simply rely on how you were raised, then how can you expect your kids to be better?
One of the things that Kelly and I do, and she got started way before I did, was to invest time and money in resources for better parenting. We have read books, blogs, and attended seminars on parenting.
Parenting: Your Most Important “Business”
It still shocks me why more parents don’t invest in learning how to raise better kids.
It seems business leaders especially don’t do this!
Parenting is the most important business in the world.
If you don’t invest time into your kids when they are young, you’ll have to spend more time later dealing with problems.
One of the things I’ve been doing every night is to spend five to ten minutes reading a book on parenting. At minimum, I spend five minutes, but NOT MORE than ten minutes.
If I don’t set a limit on how much time I have to spend reading something, then the book gets boring and I end up not reading at all. Five to ten minutes is a perfect time for me. Long enough for me to get into it, but not too long for me to get bored. Since I started doing this, I can go through one or two parenting books a month, which is about 20 books a year.
How many parents read that many books on the most important job they have?
Parenting Seminar This Weekend
This past weekend I went to an excellent parenting seminar called Parenting Is Heart Work, hosted by Biblicalparenting.org.
This was very helpful, especially in light of Ethan’s current rebellious stage. I learned helpful tips such as the Five Steps to Giving Instruction, proper discipline techniques, etc.
One of the things that immediately stood out was that many of the parenting tips are the same as the MLM Leadership skills that I teach.
That made the concepts easy to grasp for me because I was doing many of them on a business level already.
Leadership at Home
The similarities between leadership and being a good parent bring me to my final point.
Your most important leadership role is being the leader at home.
If you can’t lead your family or keep a happy home, can you even have the mental energy to focus on business?
Even if you make a lot of money in business but have bad relationships at home, can you really be called a success?
I leave you with this.
Leadership begins at home, and it is the most important role you have.
Whether it is being a parent, a spouse, or supportive family member, it’s your most important leadership role.
It’s also probably your hardest.
Remember to always be the leader at home. If you can’t get your personal life straightened out, other things will just become harder.
Your home and your kids are where your legacy is created.
Can you be called a real success if you make all the money in the world but fail at home?
Sincerely,
Simon Chan
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A very heart warming post. Love the pics!! Congrats again!
Hello Simon,
Thanks so much for addressing the topic of leadership and parenting. I completely agree with you that leading, loving, raising our children is the most important and hardest role that we have. I have four children, ages 5, 7, 9, and 11, and I often struggle to balance family and work and to get ahead in my business. I appreciate you giving us a little window on how you manage it.
Totally agree with you on parenting, Simon. Have you read any of the Love and Logic stuff by the Fays (father and son), or Fay and Cline? It is great stuff for fostering problem solving and not spoiling your kids. Congrats on the birth of Brendan! He is adorable.
Great post! I love to hear about your family!
One thing in business that we learn is the use of words. This is the same in family life.
For example, our culture gives names to certain times in our parenting life. For example, “Terrific two’s” sometimes gets called “Terrible twos”! “Terrific teens!”
“Empty nest ” is another one. Empty nest focuses on the loss of the parents, instead of the gain of the young person who has spent years preparation for this time of going out into the world. I like to focus on their gain rather than my loss.
Food for thought from a person who is the mother of 5 in 7 years and a grandmother of 18.
Hi Simon, that was another inspiring thoughts and experience as young parent you’ve shared..wonderful pics too! It’s amazing you too value family more than anything. I absolutely agree that parenting is the most important role we can ever had. I have 2 kids ages 6 and 1. The role is not easy and the experience.. very challenging. Thank you I learned that as a parent i need to be more informed to become more effective leader of my family..God Bless Us Parents More Abundantly!!