Learn to Control Your Life with the Experience Formula
The older I get, the more I realize that I can control my life.
I’m going to introduce to you my Experience Formula, and how you can use it to get more out of life and be happier.
We can determine whether we live a happy life that is filled with wonderful experiences, or live a life of misery.
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Our Lives Are Made Up of Experiences
We can define everything that happens to us as an “experience.”
For example, I’m having an experience as I write and share my ideas with you, and at this moment, you are having an experience reading this post.
This blog is just one example of an experience you’ve had today.
Our lives are defined as the sum of our experiences.
If we have good experiences, we are happy. If we have bad experiences, we are sad, frustrated, or angry.
If we can think carefully about our daily experiences, then we can have ultimate control of how happy we are.
It’s what I call my Experience Formula.
The best thing about my Experience Formula is that it has NOTHING to do with the things that happen to us.
It has everything to do with how we respond to what happens to us.
The Experience Formula
Here is the formula:
E = Ev + R
E stands for our Experience in a particular event
Ev stands for an Event that happened to us
R stands for our Response to that Event
Ev stands for Event
E = Ev + R
Ev (Event) is something that just happened to us.
The key to the Experience Formula is recognizing that we cannot control the events that has already happened in our lives.
In other words, “don’t cry over spilled milk.
If you accept this fact, then it automatically spares you from making the mistake of complaining and making excuses.
I’ll give you an example when my oldest son was almost 3 years old.
When I went to pick up Ethan, from school one day, he was so happy to see me that he jumped down from three feet high. Unfortunately, he landed badly, and was yelling in pain.
Having been on crutches four times in my life, I know a bad accident when I see one. I was relieved when Ethan said that his knee and ankle didn’t hurt, but then I knew he must have injured his lower leg badly.
I had a similar bad fall in a basketball game when I was younger and ended up fracturing my left fibula.
When Ethan was still in tremendous pain 10 minutes later and wasn’t interested to eat, look at his favorite garbage cans (He loves garbage trucks and garbage cans.), or listen to favorite Thomas Train songs, I feared what had happened to me had happened to him.
I took him straight from school to the Emergency Room and three hours later my fears were confirmed.
Ethan had fractured his lower right right and would have to be in a cast for six to eight weeks!
After making sure he was okay and feeling better, the shock of what had happened settled in.
Our family trip to San Diego for the weekend had to be canceled.
Ethan wouldn’t be able to go to school for next few weeks.
My Quarterly Meetings for my business had to be postponed.
All my plans for Monday had to be canceled.
I would need to find someone else to help Ethan during the next six to eight weeks.
Shock!
Ethan breaking his leg was an event that I could not control.
I couldn’t blame him for being so happy that he jumped down to see me.
R Stands for Response
E = Ev + R
The next step of the formula is my response ( R )
When I heard the diagnosis from the doctors, I could have responded angrily and blamed the teachers.
Yes, the teachers may have been partly responsible and–technically–the school is liable since it happened on school property.
However, Ethan ran and jumped down so fast, could they really have stopped them?
I could have responded by making a case against the school or teachers, or complaining how they should have put up a barrier so that kids don’t make that three foot jump.
However, what would my end experience be if I did that?
E Stands for Experience
If I had blamed the teachers and got angry at the school, I would just go home angry and bitter.
I would most likely be so angry that I wouldn’t even be comfortable sharing what happened with you.
If I made a case against the school, it would have drained the physical and mental energy that I could use instead to spend time with Ethan.
If I had responded with regret, questioning if I had gotten to Ethan earlier, could I have prevented him from jumping? If I felt that regret, I would still be unhappy now, replaying the scene in my mind over and over again.
In either of the prior cases, I would have a terrible experience and bring unhappiness and regret into my life. All of these are bad things.
We Can Control Our Experience by Controlling Our Response
The key to the Experience Formula is knowing that we can’t control the events that happen to us.
The ONLY thing we can control is our response to the events.
How we respond greatly determines our experience and whether we are happy or not.
If I blamed the school and teachers, I would still be angry, bitter, and full of bad energy.
Those are all feelings that are unhealthy. They lead to a miserable life.
Instead, if we choose to respond differently, we can create a better experience, and we can live a happier life.
How I Chose to Respond
How I chose to respond to this situation was to think that things in life happen. I saw the next few weeks as additional bonding time with Ethan.
I would have to carry him more.
I would have to pat him more to soothe him to make him feel better.
I would have to take more time to give him a bath because I have to wrap his leg in a plastic bag and towel so that his cast won’t get wet.
I love my boy so much, and many memories will be created.
On the day I die, I’ll always remember how I carried him into the X-ray room and explained to him how X-rays worked.
I will remember how I held his hand to soothe him and tell him not to be afraid of the big machine that would make “clicking sounds” as each X-ray was taken.
I’ll remember how I sat at the kitchen table and played “Play Doh” with him since he can’t run around and play with his trains anymore.
I can’t control how Ethan jumped and fractured his leg.
I can’t control what the teachers or schools could have done.
I can, however, control how I respond. I can turn this unfortunate event into a new, wonderful father / son bonding experience.
Apply the Experience Formula to Everything
You can apply my Experience Formula to anything that happens in your life.
If you are an MLM distributor and face rejection from your prospects, you can’t control that, but you can control your response.
If you respond and say this business doesn’t work and no one else will have interest in it, then your experience in MLM will be bad, and you will be unsuccessful.
If you respond by seeing your failures as learning experiences, then you can ask yourself, “How can I be better next time, and what skills do I need to learn?”
That will give you a positive experience. You will learn from your mistakes and be better the next time.
Five Tips on Providing Better Responses
The key to the formula and our ability to control the life we want to live is how we respond.
If we respond the wrong way, we will get a bad experience and be unhappy.
If we respond properly, we will get a better experience and even learn a few lessons in life.
Here are five simple tips on how to respond better:
1) Accept that Events (Things) Happen in Life
Learn to accept that unfavorable things do happen in life.
Sometimes we get dealt good cards, and sometimes the hand is not as good.
That is just how life is.
We can’t think that we are “unlucky” or “lucky.”
If you’ve been lucky your entire life so far, sooner or later you will be “unlucky” and vice versa.
You can’t undo what just happened.
The only thing you can do is make the best of what has happened and see if you can prevent the negative Event from happening again.
2) Always Be Grateful for What You Have
Gratitude is the easiest way for us to be happy each day.
Appreciate what you have.
If you think you have it bad, just look around you and others have it worse.
Gratitude always prevents you from being negative, which leads me to the next tip.
3) Never Criticize, Complain, or Condemn
Never criticize, complain, or blame. When you spread negative, you only get negative back.
When you do that you automatically start Focusing on Problems instead of Solutions.
You may temporarily prove yourself to be right, but your overall experience will be negative and not only will you be blind to the solutions and lesson but your life will be miserable.
4) Stop and Think Before You Respond
See if you can catch yourself for a split second before you respond.
That is what awareness is about, and the more you can find yourself thinking before you respond to something, the more logical and less emotional your responses will be.
Emotional responses are rarely the right response.
Just think back to the last time you may have been angry at a friend and said some hurtful words.
Your emotions (anger) made you say something you regretted later because your words had no logic to them.
5) Always Look for the Lesson
Successful people always look for the lesson in everything negative that happens to them.
They don’t dwell on the negative and live in the past.
That’s why we learn the most in our challenges and failures, not when things are going well.
Ask yourself what lesson did you learn from the experience you had.
You can’t undo what just happened to you and it’s a waste of energy.
The best use of your mental energy and time is to think about the lesson so that you can prevent a negative Event from repeating.
What things can you do differently in life to prevent such events from happening in the future?
Apply the Experience Formula Today
E = Ev + R
Go apply my Experience Formula today.
Remember that you can’t control the events that happen to you, but you can control your response to those events.
As you make yourself aware of how you react to the things that happen, you will find yourself having better experiences and a happier life.
Go apply it and please comment below.
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Once you gain access to the vault you will be able to go through all of my training programs ever released, plus any training courses I release in the future as well… For life.
