More Memories from the Past Week
Today is Father’s Day, and lately, I’ve been spending more time than ever with my son, Ethan.
I was telling my wife last night that this week seemed so long. It is weird because normally time flies by so quickly for me.
Only seven days ago, we were having a nice brunch in downtown Danville, California, but that seemed SOOOO long ago. Then I realized the reason it seemed so distant was because we had done so much in the last week and been to so many places.
After Danville, we were in San Jose for a day and then to Monterey for a few days.
Monterey is one of my favorite places, and we used to go there at least once a year. I love that area because of the beautiful scenery and also the inspiration I get from the million dollar mansions that line the coast along 17 Mile Drive in Pebbles Beach.
I took Ethan there to see the seals, and also went for a nice jog with him along Alisomar Beach, teaching him about jetties and waves.
At Carmel, Ethan got his first taste of running into the water. At first he was kind of scared of the waves, but after the first time he felt the water running up his legs, he loved it!
After Monterey, we went back to Los Angeles, and then took Ethan to Disneyland again.
Disneyland was packed with people. We didn’t go on any rides, but that didn’t seem to bother Ethan because his favorite ride is the bus ride from the parking lot to Disneyland! It’s all about, “THE BLUE BUS!”
Less One-on-one Time with Ethan
One of the reasons I’ve been spending so much time with Ethan is because, in July, he will be attending school five days a week. (He currently goes only twice a week.)
This kind of makes me sad since there will be less one-on-one time with him.
Also, once my second son arrives, then those moments will be even less frequent. Gosh, I can’t believe I feel like this already. What’s going to happen to me when he leaves for college or leaves home for good when he grows up?!
Extremely Proud Daddy Moment
I find myself thinking more philosophically as I get older and more experienced in this journey of life.
I constantly ask myself whether or not I am being a good father.
But first, let me share an EXTREMELY PROUD DADDY moment.
Ethan is only 24 months old, but can speak Mandarin and also some English! Most toddlers at his age don’t speak much, but he can speak in almost full sentences already.
He also knows the difference between his left and right hand, and thanks to my wife, he also can recognize all the letters in the alphabet!
Being such a self-development fanatic, I always smile every time I see Ethan reading a book by himself.
But am I being a good father and doing what is best for Ethan?!
Choose the Easy Road and Life Will Be Tough
One of the things I discovered about life is that each day we are faced with thousands of decisions that can determine our future.
In each decision we can always choose the Easy Way or Hard Way.
Every time we choose the Easy Way, life will become Hard.
Every time we choose the Hard Way, life will become Easy.
I’ll give you some examples of what I mean.
It’s easy to skip exercising today, but your life will become more difficult later on when your health deteriorates.
It’s easy to eat fast food instead of cooking, but your life will be hard as you lose your health.
It’s easy to skip talking to your spouse when you are tired, but things will get hard as the relationship deteriorates. (Relationships are always either getting better or worse. They are never stagnant.)
This idea applies to business as well. It’s easy to skip making that inconvenient phone call to your partner, but things will be hard later on due to miscommunication.
It’s easy to skip making the extra prospecting call, but things will be hard as you don’t generate enough sales to survive.
It’s easy to watch TV instead of reading a book, but life will be hard later on as you are left behind the more motivated people.
Those are just some examples.
However, this brings me back to my role as a father.
Tracing Your Successes and Proud Moments
If I spoil Ethan, and I don’t, things will be temporarily easy for him, but I will ruin his life.
I have weaknesses just like you do, and I know that the reason I had so many challenges when I started my network marketing business is because I had a lot of things “easy” when I was growing up.
I’m not faulting my parents because they came from a tough life growing up and wanted things easier for my brother and me. But my making things easier, things got tougher for me in my early adult years.
At the same time, for every success that I achieved, I can trace it back to a lesson I learned when I did not get what I wanted.
Tough times build our character. Our experience and skills are learned from our mistakes and failures.
So that’s my dilemma. I want Ethan to be happy, but at the same time, I realize that if he gets what he wants and life is easy for him, things will be tough for him in the future.
Being the Tough Daddy
I’ve recently decided that I need to make life HARD for my son. I should NEVER give him anything he wants immediately.
No matter how hard he cries or yells, he will NEVER get what he wants from me instantly. I will make him earn it or have him learn the virtue of patience by waiting a while before giving him what he wants.
Now, my wife or the grandparents may spoil him, but at least from me, he will NEVER get what he wants and have things “easy.”
Do I sound mean or too tough? Probably so, but I want the best for my son, and I want him to learn how life works. I want him to avoid having to go through the challenges that I had to overcome in my early adult years.
I want him to be happy and have things EASY later in his life. That means that I will have to make things TOUGH for him now.
Do You Do What is Hard or What is Easy?
What about you?
Can you think of a situation where things are hard for you now because either you chose an easy decision earlier in your life, or you had it easy growing up?
Can you also think of something you are proud of now and trace it back to an event where you had to do something that was hard in the past?
Feel free to comment or share.
When you are faced with decisions, what road do you take?
Do you do what is easy, or do you do what is hard?
Choose wisely because your future depends on it.
Sincerely,
Simon Chan
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