It's 2:36 a.m. now and needless to say I have a new schedule! In the past, I've always been an early bird and prefer to go to bed early and wake up SUPER early and write instead of being a night owl. My most productive hours are normally my “Power Hour' which is first thing in the morning.
But fatherhood changes all that!
The first week of fatherhood has been AMAZING… it's been an incredible and memorable experience… definitely exceeded all expectations that everyone told me… It is true… with a child, you find yourself making sacrifices that you never though you would make. I guess that is what “unconditional love” is.
People had warned me that fatherhood was about a lot of sleepless nights… and I can attest to that!
But seriously though… the nights are not that bad… Before the baby was born, I was “scared” of a lot of the responsibility and “change in lifestyle.” But funny thing is once the baby is here, I find myself eager to take up the responsibilities!
Last week we talked about how pure a baby was… how it was free from programs, inhibitions or “limiting beliefs”… and totally we will elaborate more on that.
Limiting beliefs are things that we learn over the years that hold us back… we become “programmed” into believing certain things every time we see a specific thing happen.
What do I mean?
Here is an example…
You are driving down towards an intersection on a busy street and then suddenly a car driven by a woman swerves in front of you to cut you off just so that she can go faster and beat the traffic light. She almost hits your car and you are stunned…
What is your immediate reaction?!!
I think most of us would be very mad and angry at that driver and consider her to be insane, crazy and a bad person! Some of it may get so angry that we may even say a few cuss words and stick out our favorite middle finger at her.
That is our reaction… and we have come to accept that that type of reaction is normal every time someone crazy driver does that to us…
What happens if I told you that that woman was 9 months pregnant and was in labor and had no one to take her to the hospital?!
Would your reaction change and would you be more empathetic? Her actions of cutting you off are still wrong but I'm sure you would be more understanding and not be as angry with her. You may even feel bad that you thought she was a bad person and was angry at her!
You would forgive her… and even hope she makes it safely to the hospital.
In other words, your reaction would CHANGE!
Just a tiny amount of info can totally change your reaction.
But let's go back to your immediate reaction when she cut you off… did you KNOW for a fact that she was crazy which caused you to get angry at her?!
No… the reason you reacted that way is because in the past someone did that to you and you “learned” that the normal reaction is to be shocked and angry at such drivers. Or maybe that never even happened to you but you saw your parents say something about crazy female drivers or someone that you knew experienced something. Those previous experiences created a belief in you that may not necessary give you an accurate view of the real situation. In other words, you were “PROGRAMMED.”
Now going back to your assumption that the driver is crazy and a bad person… is that a FACT or FICTION (assumption?)
This is an obvious example of how our “programming” over the years causes us to react to situations that may not be the best nor accurate.
And you can apply this to business… and a good example is in sales.
You have a hot prospect that you have been talking to. You both set up an agreed time to talk and go over things before he buys from you. On the day of the appointment, the prospect fails to show up and/or does not take your call. What does that mean?
Many inexperienced business people or people who are new in sales would automatically “feel the rejection” and say that the prospect is not interested. But is that assessment “Fact or Fiction?”
For those that falsely assume the prospect is automatically “not interested”, they feel rejected and often fail to make the important followup calls. And even for those that do make the followups, they normally have a negative/pessimistic attitude and that never leads to success. Some are even worse and fail to make any followup calls at all.
What if I told you that that prospect had a personal family emergency and could not make it? Or maybe that prospect wanted to take your call but his mobile phone ran out of batteries?
That would change things would they?! If you assumed that, you would be optimistic and go ahead and make the followup call the next day. Immediately your chances for success have increased 100 times.
So.. lesson is… don't jump into conclusions so fast. Our conclusions are based on our past experiences and programming but the current situation you are looking at now may BE DIFFERENT and have nothing to do with what happened before.
You can apply this to business and also to personal. If you have a personal experience related to this that you want to share, feel free to comment below.
Until next time,