Members of my Network Marketing Coaching Programs can ask me for help or advice every week.
Today's Coaching Question comes from 5 Star Mastermind Coaching member, Bobbi from Melbourne, Australia.
Hey Simon Chan, sorry to post so late and here is a question for last week: How to compliment on others in an effective way to show you REALLY think he/she is excellent rather than just saying flat words like ‘you are great' or ‘you are smart' ? Thanks a lot Simon!!
There are many ways to do this but here are 5 easy steps to create praise that shows you really care:
1) Be Specific
Be specific in your praise. You are correct… if you just say “you were great” or “great job”, that is so thoughtless and empty. Has no meaning and seems fake.
Instead, learn to be specific.
For example, instead of saying “you were great in your presentation tonight”
you can say
“you were really great in your presentation today. I liked the way you used your voice and also gave great eye contact to the audience. The eye contact showed your confidence and allowed you to connect with the audience better”
When the person hears that, they know that you were really paying attention to them and everyone loves attention. Being specific can go a long way.
2) Compare to the Past
Related to being specific is to find 1 or 2 areas where that person has improved. Everyone loves attention and it really touches someone's heart when they know that you have noticed their improvement! It is a small victory for them.
For example, instead of saying “great job with bringing prospects to our meeting tonight”
you can say
“Great job with bringing prospects to our meeting tonight. I can tell you are working hard and also your skills must have improved because in the past you had struggled to bring prospects but now you are so much better!”
You can combine being specific and improvement with your praise.
An example is… instead of saying “Great job with the product testimonial tonight”
you can say
“Great job with the product testimonial tonight. I liked the way you described the exact details of how the product helped changed your health. You touched people's hearts when you shared your mom's health challenges and how the product helped her. In the past, you were more general and left out the details but I think adding the details to the story helped the audience connect with you better. You have improved a lot in not just your presentation skills but in your story telling ability.”
3) Give Them the Spotlight
To make people feel great, give praise in front of others. Surprise them. Put the spotlight on them briefly.
So if you are doing a normal training, maybe you can take a 60 second detour and surprise everyone by saying…
“Oh yes… before we move on, I just want to say great job to Bobbi today for delivering such a good product training. He was specific in his points and he made it simple for the associates to understand. Dramatic improvements. Don't you guys think so?”
Catch them by surprise when you do this!
4) Taking a Time Out to Give Praise
Note that you don't always have to praise in front of people to make it effective. Sometimes you can just pull a person out of the crowd and do it.
For example, one of the things I do… sometimes I am busy talking and sharing to a group of people in a crowd… and all of a sudden in the corner of my eye, I see that person walking by or just listening. I would excuse myself from the crowd for a minute and just grabbed the person and quietly whisper my complement to him in his ear.
By showing that I took time out of my busy schedule and time away from others to do it makes a person feel good.
You see this in sports. A coach may be busy coaching a game but he would take 30 seconds off the game and come to a player that just did well and put his arms around him and compliment him immediately.
5) Catch them Doing Something Right
If you are just standing around and see someone doing something right, go compliment them immediately! “Catch” them doing something right.
We are brought up in culture where we like to “catch people” doing wrong things.
For example, parents would scold kids every time a kid does something wrong.
But how often does a parent take time to “catch” a kid doing something right and give praise?!
Touch a Person's Heart Today
So, those are 5 tips that will help you complement better and also develop your leadership. Every leader knows how to touch someone's heart and the easiest way is to give sincere praise.
Go touch someone's heart today.
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