My son, Ethan Simon Chan was born a few days ago and the last 48 hours have been an incredible experience.
Everything that everyone told me about the how awesome it is to be a father has been true. It has been amazing… I haven't slept much and I find myself just staring at Ethan all day long and looking at him… and yet somehow, I am not tired! Staring at him and energizes me!
As I marvel at him, I also remind myself of my newest challenge; to be the best father in the world. I know many people say that and the words ” best father” can often become clique. What does it mean to be “best father?” To me, it is to: (in random order)
1) spend as much time with Ethan as possible
2) be interested in the things that Ethan is interested in
3) be at the important events and functions that Ethan is involved in
4) teach him about God and the right morals and values that this world operates in
5) what it takes to be happy and successful in this world
As I stare at Ethan, I now realize why people love babies… cause babies are pure and innocent. They are like a blank slate… they have no fears and no limiting beliefs… unfortunately as a baby grows up, they “learn” new fears and also become “programmed” by beliefs that limit them. (for example, they may have certain prejudices… fears towards public speaking… fear of failure… fear of “asking a dumb question”… fear of change… fear of taking action… etc, etc). These are all limitations that hold people back. Yet a baby has no fears nor programmed beliefs. I once read that a baby has only 2 fears when he is born; the fear of loud noise and the fear of falling. All OTHER fears that he develops later on in life are all LEARNED fears. To give you an example, sometimes people are afraid to speak up in public for fear of rejection from their peers. Tell that to a baby! The baby definitely has no fear of that! He will yell out and cry out anywhere he wants! That reminds me of this baby that cried nonstop for 6 hours on a red-eye flight from LA to Washington DC. Everyone wanted to sleep on the flight and was so irritated by that baby… that baby DEFINITELY DID NOT have fear of rejection!
A baby also does not have the limiting beliefs that adults have.
Many grown ups stop trying to achieve more in life because they believe that “you can't have it all.” Well, try to tell that to a baby! Ethan asks for whatever he wants! If he wants to eat, he cries and asks for it… if he is tired and wants to sleep, he cries… if he wants hugs from mommy, he will cry and ask for it. He DEFINITELY wants it all!
But somehow… sadly… throughout the growth process, things and the situations from the environment happen to the baby where certain fears soon become developed and ingrained into a child's personality… and later on becomes firmly entrenched into his adult life.
Of course, some fears are good… but the more I think about it, most fears and beliefs we have as adults are limiting. They form a mental “cage” that traps our real potential.
As I stare back at Ethan and how peaceful he looks while sleeping, I realize my biggest challenge is to reduce the fears or beliefs that will limit what he can do in the future… cause I know he has amazing potential… and it's up to me to teach him and create the environment for him to grow and become successful.
Babies such as Ethan also remind us that we need to look inward at OURSELVES. Ask yourself what fears or limiting beliefs do YOU have that are holding you back? Once you recognize them, then we can work together to slowly remove them. Removing them will take tremendous effort but it can be done and I'll save that for a later post… but the first step is to REALIZE your fears and limiting beliefs and understand that NOT everything is the way they appear. Our fears and limiting beliefs blind us and hold us back… and the first step is to realize what they are.
If we all had our education and skills AND had the mindset of a fearless and pure baby, we would all be unstoppable!
Until next time,
God Bless
Simon
What a lovely family! Thank you for this. I have been trying to put into words the stuff that I needed to do to be the best mom for Marcus. We ALL want to be the best parent for our kids but, like you said, fear dominates most of us. Three years into parenthood, I realize now that not only have I become more patient but I have also become courageous in facing most of my fears. I am a better person because of Marcus. Congratulations to you and your lovely wife. You guys are definitely in for a treat with Ethan around. 😉
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Simon
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