Choosing The People You Spend Time With
Have you ever been on a bus that had a few annoying passengers and you just couldn't wait for them to get off?
Or have you ever wished that the bus would stop, open its doors and 5 of the most positive and motivating people would hop right in and talk to you?!
Well, I'm going to show you how you can be the bus driver in your life.
You get to decide who to kick out and let onto YOUR bus.
After all this is YOUR bus.
Before I show you what I mean, here's one of the biggest lessons I learned when I started out my entrepreneurial journey.
You Are Average of the Five People You Spend Most Time With
The late Jim Rohn was an early mentor of mine and had a huge influence on my success. I learned from Jim what successful people think and what they did.
When I started my entrepreneurial journey back in 2003, one of the most impactful things that Jim Rohn taught me was:
You are always the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.
In other words…
If I wanted to find out how much income you earned, all I had to do was take the average income of your five closest friends and that would be your income!
Initially when I first heard this, I refused to believe it was true.
It seemed too simple a way to figure someone out.
But then the more I thought about it, it was indeed true.
Middle class people don't hang out with people in welfare
Upper middle class don't spend time with people the middle class.
Upper class don't hang out with upper middle class.
Billionaires don't spend time with millionaires.
I hate to admit it but it was true.
Birds of a feather do flock together!
I Had to Change
Part of my initial denial was that the advice made me uncomfortable with where I was in life.
I realized that I needed to change my network and of course, no one likes to change.
We all like to stay the same and maintain status quo.
But we have to understand that how we dislike change is what makes this principle work in the first place.
When we are pushed outside our comfort zones we normally will scramble and do something different.
We often get better but once we reach the level where we get good at what we're doing, we slow down and settle back.
We get lazy and don't change anymore.
We Are Like Thermostats
When we get pushed outside our comfort zones, our temperatures are set to a new setting and then we work hard to get to that temperature.
But once we reach there, we just stay there and never change.
So how do constantly adjust our settings so that we can get better and better in life?
One of the best and worst influencers in our lives are the people around us.
If we surround ourselves with good people, we get better.
If they don't grow, then we don't grow. If they are worse than us, they drag us down.
That's why surrounding ourselves with positive and people who are smarter than you is so important.
These new people act like a new thermostat setting.
We may feel out of place but that uncomfortable feeling forces us to work harder on ourselves so that we can bring ourselves to that level.
That's why I'm part of a $20,000 Mastermind every year because those people are better than me. I'm one of the “dumber” people in the room and they have forced me to grow and become better.
Don't Waste Your Time Changing People
Have you ever spent time changing someone and all you got was resentment and arguments?
It's simply not worth it to change people.
It's sad because I know you have the best intentions but you can never change people.
It's like a bag of oranges where one orange goes bad.
Have you ever just let the bad orange stay in the bag?
Do the good oranges make the bad orange turn good?
Or does the bad orange make the rest of the bag go bad?
You Can Always CHOOSE Who You Are With
Do you have people who are negative or bring you down?
Perhaps you are in a situation similar to one of my Insider's Circle members Sybil who had asked me awhile back how to escape from the negative gossip around the office water cooler.
The first thing you have to accept is that you cannot change people but you can change the people you are with.
If the people in the water cooler are negative, then you can make that choice NOT to participate.
Choose another water cooler in the office, go to the water cooler only when no one else is there or don't go at all!
Whatever you do don't waste your time to change people.
Change the people around you instead because that is more simpler and less frustrating.
Also, if the people at the water cooler are negative, chances are you are way better than them already because you know you should never criticize, complain nor condemn.
So any time spending to change them or being around them brings you DOWN cause you are always the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.
How to Find Positive Motivated People Better Than You
I admit it's not easy being an entrepreneur and MLM distributor.
We get beaten up everyday.
Prospects reject our opportunity, downlines quit and we may not always get the best support from home.
They are special because it's one of the few times a year where we are surrounded by everyone who is positive and liked minded like you.
But once we leave these events, we face more situations like the negative gossip around the water cooler.
Negativity is everywhere and it's hard to find people who think like us.
But fortunately these people do exist.
Here are a few places where you can find other motivated entrepreneurs to network with
1) At Network Marketing Event
Go meet someone who is earning more than you and find ways to help that person.
There are many ways to provide value such as being a customer, providing valuable information, making them laugh, being motivating, etc.
Create a plan where you stay in touch with this person on a scheduled periodic basis. I like to connect once a month for 60 – 90 minutes where we either meet for lunch or talk on Skype.
These people serve as an individual mastermind for you.
2) Local Business Networking Groups
There are business groups such as BNI (Business Network International) that meet weekly in your local area.
Though these business owners may not be MLM distributors they are a great way to network and surround yourself with people who are positive.
My suggestion for all these groups is to NOT see them as prospecting grounds.
If you aggressively prospect in these groups you will wear out your welcome really quickly and may even get kicked out. Instead focus on building trust first and then the prospecting will come naturally.
Don't become the pest and bad apple that others want to throw out!
3) Train For An Endurance Sport
There are groups in your local area that train for the marathon, triathlon, etc.
People who train for these events are NEVER negative and are highly motivated individuals.
They believe in what is possible and not the problems that plagued them.
These individuals are often good prospects as well since they are goal oriented and very focused but again, I would be careful in terms of joining a group and aggressively prospecting.
4) Self Development
One of my favorite ways to stay positive is to always surround myself with personal development.
I read and listen to audios everyday.
In fact, I can't remember the last day I didn't read or listen to SOMETHING for at least 5 minutes.
One of the greatest source of inspiration and serves as a “motivating person” you know is to read biographies or autobiographies. When you dig deep into a successful person's life, you start to feel they become one of your best friends.
5)Insider's Circle or Advanced Diamond Mastermind
I created these groups in 2012 because there was a need for motivated distributors who wanted bonuses trainings, accountability and a mentor.
So Who Gets to Stay On Your Bus?
Remember, you are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.
Don't change people but you can always change the people around you.
You are the bus driver in your life.
Which negative person do you plan to kick out?
Which positive person do you plan to let on?